It’s about finding the place that God has designed for us.
Questioning who you are.
Not knowing where you fit.
The question “what’s wrong with me?” rings in your head.
Experiencing depression, anxiety, stress.
Coping with drugs, alcohol, food, shopping.
I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with you.
Take the first step in learning who you are, how you were created,
and accepting that who you are is who God created you to be.
No more coping with behaviors that pull you away from your true self.
When we don’t know who we are…
… we end up becoming someone else.
This can cause us to act out in behaviors counter to who we are at our core.
Pushing people away, especially the people closest to us. And they don’t know how to help. So, the anger rages, and the pain deepens. Deciding to learn who you are at your core, submit weaknesses to the Lord, and have them met in healthy ways, takes courage.
Walking the path to healing can seem lonely, but you won’t be alone. You will have the Lord as your Healer and your counselor as your guide. Supporting and encouraging you every step of the way; asking hard questions to help you dig deep and let go of what isn’t working.
To find your place in God’s creation, you must understand your temperament.
Everything we do is an attempt to meet a need in every area of our lives. In learning about temperament, you’ll learn how to meet your needs in healthy, Godly ways. Unmet needs become weaknesses.
Temperament is how people interact with their environment and the world around them. Temperament pinpoints our perception of ourselves and the people who love us. It is also a determining factor in how well we handle the stresses and pressures of life.
There are five temperaments that have been identified:
Temperament is a determining factor in:
Finding a career that is most comfortable for us.
Finding hobbies that will bring us the most satisfaction and enjoyment.
How we make decisions and take on responsibilities.
How dependent or independent we are.
Our spiritual development.
The counselor aims to understand the inner workings of their client and shine like a light in a dark place. (From Temperament Theory). This work will bring the client to a deeper understanding of who they are and their strengths and weaknesses. “The Temperament is the determining factor of what we are, but our environment and our relationship with God determine what we will become.” From Temperament Theory.
When we start working together…
Dr. Richard Arno, an expert in Temperament Therapy, developed an 18-question assessment designed to identify your temperament.
We’ll use this Arno Profile System when we start working together. Here are the three areas into which we’ll go in-depth:
Whom do you wish to have access to your inner circle?
Inclusion refers to surface relationships, association, or socialization. It answers the question: who is in and who is out? It attempts to resolve feeling significant or worthwhile. The needs it tries to meet are: need socialization with others or need to have others approach vs. not wanting others to approach.
Who should have the final decision-making power in your life?
Control refers to control and power. It answers the question: who maintains power/makes decisions? It attempts to resolve the feeling of competence and tries to meet the need for: power and control over others and others to have some to no control over them.
How intimate are you willing to be with those in your inner circle?
Affection refers to love and affection. It answers the question: how emotionally close or distant? It attempts to resolve feeling lovable. The needs it tries to meet are: establishing and maintaining love/
affection relationship and love/affection from everyone or a very few.
From Dr. Keiah Ellis: “All day, every day, we each deal with things that drain our energy. This energy is not physical stamina but emotional energy that is required to engage in relationships with others. We all have energy tanks of the same size and capacity, but we do not all begin the day with the same amount of energy in the tank. Introverted Temperaments are quickly drained by frequent social interaction and require alone time to refuel their “tank.” But even after a refueling, their energy remains low. People with these temperaments tend to protect their energy levels by keeping social interactions to a minimum. Extroverted Temperaments begin the day with higher amounts of energy but are drained by NOT interacting frequently. To refuel their “tank,” they must have socializing time. After socializing, their tank refills, and they can continue their day with high energy. Because they start the day with more energy and are energized as they interact, people with these Temperaments tend to socialize freely and often.”
In learning about our temperament, we can begin to embrace that how we are wired is not a mistake. There isn’t anything wrong with who we are, but we need to learn to bring our weaknesses to the Lord to help us find Godly and healthy ways of meeting our needs. We no longer can use the excuse, “this is just how I am.” You’ll learn why you are the way you are, learn to love that person for the unique person you are, and navigate with others who are different from you. The more you know who you are, the more you will communicate what your needs are and have them met.
The first step in knowing who you are is to complete the Temperament Test. In doing so, the counselor can help the client identify their needs and lead them to God (through prayer, reading scripture), Who can meet their needs.
A Melancholy client presents with depression and uses it to alleviate the pain. The counselor will encourage the client to verbalize their feelings, and together, over time, devise a plan to meeting their need healthily. The counselor will show them that they cannot do this on their own and accept the help. The Melancholy needs time and choice for every decision, and they are not to be rushed in this process. This can present as procrastination. However, it’s the perfectionist in them that is playing out here. Melancholies are good decision-makers, are analytical, and can see results and potential pitfalls of action. By counseling to their strengths, the counselor can help the Melancholy client come out of their depression and have their needs met in healthy and Godly ways.
Taking the Step to the True You
Ready to give up anger, control, or substances?
I’m here, ready to lead you to your true self.
Temperament Therapy permits you to be who you are at your innermost being. You can’t change it, but you can learn to navigate life, knowing who you were created to be, and embrace being your true self.
Call me today to schedule your free 20 minute consultation.